The life of a Mother

Mother's day is always an emotional day for me. I think just because A. It makes me think of my own mom and how great she is and B. I love being a mom and just love my kids.

I didn't realize how much the love a mother has for her children until the day I had Easton. I truly believe there is no love quite like it. It is so different from the love you feel for your significant other or any material thing. I don't remember ever being younger and saying "all I want to do is grow up and be a mom". I was so much interested in fashion and boys and a career, more of the selfish things in life. I knew one day I would get married and have kids because "that is just what you do". I remember when I got pregnant with Easton I wasn't the most excited as probably one would be. I was married yes and on birth control but the circumstances in my life weren't the best at the time. Well needless to say the day I had him change my life FOREVER! Not in the way I thought either but made my life even better. Becoming a mother made me a better person. The way I view life and the world is completely different then I once thought it for. For example I never thought I would receive such joy out of basic little things that are said and done. To love to hear yourself be called mom and to hear I love you from this tiny little person that you love more than anything yourself, that you would do anything for such as lay down your own life to protect them. To see whenever they hurt, scared, upset or even sick that my heart would ache so much to make it all better and for it to go away.
Now when I see their little smiling faces it brightens up my day and melts my heart. I know that my life would be so insignificant and incomplete without them. That is something you will never know until they are here and you hold them for the first time. I cannot believe the instant love you feel that although a complete stranger and yet you feel like you have known this sweet spirit that dwells is such a small body forever. You also realize that what a complete "miracle" they are that not only did you and your husband create but that you carried and grew for 9 months and felt move around inside you, there is really nothing like it. So for anyone that "chooses" not to experience that is "CRAZY"! Yes there are days that are so hard and you wonder how you ever got your self in this mess and you can't really remember your life without them, it has seemed like they have always been there. It is all so worth it though.

There are days that are so hard but I try and have to try super hard on those days to remember to embrace it because you only do all of this once. I will only be a young mom once and have the energy now to run around chasing them. I love babies and for me it is hard to see them get bigger. Each day brings new and exciting things each day will go on and on with or without me. So this is why I need to put both feet in take the good with the bad especially when there is more good than bad. I know that the reward at the end will be the greatest. There are days though I often ask myself "Am I a good mom" "Am I doing the right thing and making the best decision"?? Raising kids is so difficult it is all about follow through and making sure your kids grow up being honest, hard working, righteous people. It will probably be the hardest thing I ever do but I know so worth it. These two kids and hopefully more to come are the most important things to me in this world. They truly make me want to be a better person and remind me I need to be a better example. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday for sending them to me, I don't know where or who I would be without them. I am so glad that they chose "ME" to be there mother here on this earth I truly feel blessed and honored!! I tell my Young Women all the time if being a mom is the only thing I was sent to this earth to do it is ok because I love being a mom! I just want my kids to love me as much as I love them and for them to one day be proud of me and say what a great mom I was. Hopefully there thoughts and memories of me won't be" my mom was a screaming crazy ranting raving selfish wacko". I also hope they grow up being the best that they can be and always stay active in the church and will have a relationship with their father in heaven. After all he gave them to me with that responsibility and trusts me with them so I hope and pray that the decisions I make each day will be the best one's for them. I may not be the average cookie baking, sewing happy, craft making, floor so clean you can eat off of it mom but I do know this I can be lots of fun and silly and most important I will and do love them so deep that it hurts. I can promise that I will love, hug and kiss alot too, all that I can do!

Besides just look at those faces how could you not!



Also I would just like to wish a Happy Mother's day to my mom! She is such a great woman, so amazing to me and a wonderful mother. My sisters always tease me that I am a "suck up" to her but it's not that. It's just I was so horrible to her when I was a teenager. I put my poor parents through hell, especially my mother. So I will make it up to her the rest of my life by being her friend and on her side (even if she is not always right) If I knew then what I know now, I would start all over and take it all back. She would always try and tell me but I never understood obviously until I became a mom, that is just how it works. I also tell my Young Women that all the time, that they will never understand how much that their parents love them until they become one. I probably would have made different decisions not only for myself but for the future kids that I didn't know that were so special that would be coming to me. Like I said that is how life is, we are supposed to go through trials and that is who makes us who we are. If we were to see the future then we would all be perfect and what fun would that be lol. Anyway back to my mom, even though there were times I was so horrible she would try so hard and I knew and I did appreciate it. She always was up to bat for me even sometimes against my dad which I know was hard. She also worked so hard for our family and even though is was alot to handle having her gone and working so much, I just hope she knows her hard work never went unnoticed. She wanted us to have the best of everything and I know she loved us all so much and that is why! I am so glad for our relationship over the years and how close we are. She is one of my best est friends and she is always there for me and supports me know matter what. She has gotten me through some of the worst times in my life and I will forever be grateful to her for that. I know I can count on my mom and she will be there. Mom I love you so much and don't know what my life would be like without you and I hope I never have to find out. Thank you for being such a great example to me and also helping me become the mother and woman I am trying to be. Where would we all be without our mothers? To me there shouldn't just be one day a year we remember and celebrate our mothers it should be all the time. So here's to motherhood because if there is anything that I do in my life right lets hope it is this because there is nothing else I would rather be or be doing! And although motherhood is not very glamorous I still have managed to wear my heels and wedges on most days.

Where did April go???

Adam Wilkinson
March 1, 1985-March 26, 2009

Seriously April got away before I knew it and there was so much that went on and that I wanted to post! I have been the worst blogger lately. It's not completely my fault, I never have the computer thanks to my motivated husband and his masters program. So I am pretty much going to sum up the month of April. The picture above is of Devin's friend Adam who passed away the end of March. (I couldn't get the picture down below the paragraph for some reason, so that's why it is right at the top). The funeral was April 1st in which we attended. Devin also spoke at the funeral and did a great job giving tribute to his friend. I as well would like to take a moment to just say not only what a great friend Adam was but a great man. He was a big guy but his heart was even bigger. He loved everyone and especially loved serving others. He spent most of his life doing just that. Just being around him made me want to be a better person and want to serve more. He truly showed that service does make you have a love for others that you normally wouldn't. He also made me realize that the mistakes that people make in their lives doesn't make them who they are it just makes you stronger and a better person for it. He also made me realize that what the worlds happiness is measured by how much money you make and your status but really it is about the people in your life such as family and friends that is the most important and what makes us truly happy. He was one of the most inspiring people I think I have ever met. He stated one time that he wished he had all the money in the world so that he could spend the rest of his life giving it away. That is just the kind of person Adam was. I am so glad that I got to know him and that he touched my life even if it was for just a short time.


Gracie turning 9 months:
Well enough of the sad stuff moving on......Grace girl turned 9 months in April. At the beginning of the month she couldn't even crawl and now she can, I can't even believe it. She is so busy and into everything. She still sleeps between 12-14 hours and is such a happy baby girl. She still will growl from time to time but now with a little coxing. She makes funny little noises all the time and will roll her eyes and shake her head it's pretty funny. She also has learned to cheer for herself along with a little coaxing. If we say "Yeah Gracie" she will in turn clap her hands and say "ya ya ya". She will also never ever leave her bows in and it is a challenge because now that I have a girl she needs to be all decked out and girly. She also won't leave her cute shoes on either, what a little stinker! I know I am bias but she is so dang cute and so fun. I love to make her laugh and smile, she has the cutest smile along with the sweetest dimples. She also still has no teeth so she "gums"everything I can't believe she is almost a year old it makes me so so sad! Here were her 9 month stats:

WEIGHT: 17.79 LBS.=28 PERCENTILE
HEIGHT: 28 IN.=63 PERCENTILE

Our happy baby girl




Easter:

Moving right along...Easter. It was kind of lame because we didn't have Easton this year so it was just us and Gracie so nothing to exciting. We did however go to my moms for dinner with the fam and we all know that I love getting to gether with them.
Here we all are in our green or yellow which seemed to be the theme!

Me and Grace


Nessie's 17th B-Day:
On April 25th it was my little sis's B-day. She turned 17, so on Sunday we got together and had a little party for her.

I just love ya nessie

Here we are with our "future brother in law" we hope. This is Lance who happens to be Jenessa's best friend for the last two years. Who left to the marines and came home on leave just in time for her birthday. (that's when she figured out she liked him a little more than a friend, actually ALOT more) He left again until July and then will be returning home just in time to turn in his papers and than leave to serve the lord for two years. I am placing bets she will wait for him, atleast we all hope!


Ire turns 1:

Then we celebrated Irelyn Jane's birthday on the 28th. I cannot believe she is one. I remember holding her the day she was born and that does not seem that long ago. She is so stinking cute. I love this baby almost as much as my own but between all three of these babies we are together all the time so that could be why. She is so full of personality, just like her mama.
She wasn't the average one year old who wanted to dig in her cake, she was not having it!
Here is all three girls in their princess crowns!

Surprisingly Gracie kept hers on.

Gracie trying out Ire's little bike she got.....not to much longer Grace and you can have your own!


No more training:
Last but not least ending the month was my sisters and my last training session with our personal trainer, Aaron! It was really fun the last 17 weeks working out with my sisters a couple nights a week. Although most nights it seemed like we were laughing to the point of tears than working out it still made working out actually enjoyable, well...most of the time. Anyway I was kind of sad to stop working out with our trainer because I still want to stay motivated. Not only was it the fact that you had someone expecting you to be there but someone pushing you harder and harder to the point you wanted to cry. It looks like I am going to have to be that person now, I just hope I can do it. I have almost hit my goal but not quite so I need to stick with it. Needless to say it was a great experience and here our my results.

I know this sounds crazy but only 6 lbs. lost but I went from a size 10 to a 6. I have lost 4% body fat, 3 inches in my shoulders and chest area, 1 inch in my arms, 3 inches in my waist, 2 inches in my hips, and 1.5 inches in my thigh. I have actually been proud. Like I said I am still not quite were I want to be but hopefully I will get there I just know it will take some time and patience (which is always the hard part). So here's to the next few months to get to my goal, hopefully I can do it.
Here is a picture with me and my sisters. This was the only recent one I could find with just the three of us!

pLaYiNg CaTcH uP

So where have I been you ask?? Everywhere........


Two weekends ago we went to St. George with my sister Jamie and her family. We stayed at my parents vacation home! We went because we were supposed to be in Hawaii with my parents but "NO" that didn't work out, so St. George was supposed to compensate!(ya right). Anyway we had a really fun time!The weather was beautiful so we played out by the pool alot and ate alot alot alot!!
As you can see one of the places we ate at. Everytime we have gone down to St. George since In N Out has opened it was nuts inside and the drive thru too. The food, it was just ok, nothing to write home about. Jamie, Devin and I kept saying how we would of just rather had a good ol' Whopper from Burger King. We didn't understand what the big deal was other than "the name" itself.
James and me enjoying our food!
The boys as well.
Gracie loved the water, I couldn't keep her out of it.....time for her first suit to be worn!
The girls....aren't they so so cute in their little bathing suits, they loved it!
She is looking down because she wanted to be put back in!
Easton always loves the water, he spends ALL day going back and forth between the hot tub and the swimming pool. Which I don't know why, during the day the pool is warmer because we don't heat the hot tub just the pool! Silly kid. It was a fun quick trip. We left a day later than planned because Devin's friend died, which will be another post for another day. I love St. George, my parents house and the pool. I plan on being there ALL Summer. Yeah Summer!!! Can't wait.


So last weekend we went down to Gunnison. We go down every conference weekend, along with all of Devin's family. Cousins aunts uncles and all. It's tradition. We go down on Saturday and just hang while the guys go to Priesthood. We sleepover and the next morning we get up and go over to Devin's grandparents for Breakfast with the WHOLE JENSEN CLAN. It is actually alot of fun! Well this conference weekend was different. There was a little excitement right before the 1st half of conference on Sunday started.................


You see Devin's parents own a furniture store.........(shown above) and Devin's dad got a call about five minutes to ten that morning from Devin's brother in law, TJ. He said that a BOAT had gone through the store window....................................
YES A BOAT!!!!

We couldn't believe it, so of course we all had to see this one in a lifetime thing. So we all jump in the cars and headed down to the store. It was unbelievable!
A out of town couple from Cali were up visting their son. They thought that the road they were on was a four way stop. Well it wasn't so they hit a truck pulling a trailor with a boat on it which jolted the trailor right off of the truck swung it around and sent the boat flying into the window of the store. Luckily no one was hurt just the store, store windows, and the furniture out for display right by the window. The sad thing was the guy driving the truck that was hit, it wasn't even his truck or boat. The boat was for sale and he was taking it out on the lake fishing for a little "test drive" and also borrowes the truck from a friend to pull the boat. My brother in law told him "I wouldn't buy that boat if I were you" lol. Pretty crazy!
The boat being towed away!
Everyone helping to get the mess cleaned up. Thanks to all the grandsons, cousins and sons they had the mess all cleaned up and the windows boarded up in under two hours.

Later that day we had a little Easter party since we weren't going to be down for Easter.
My $5o Bill I got in my Easter egg and some random family pictures to follow.




Last but not least this last Wednesday we went to my sister Jenessa's fashion show at the highschool. Wow it brought back some memories from when I was there and did the same thing, not SO long ago! Nessie did a great job, she was a little model and performer on stage. She kept winking and pouting her lips in all her segments!





Me and Kris the HS fashion class teacher. She was my teacher for three years and it was 8 years ago this month that I was up on that stage. Oh memories.........Good job Nessie I am proud of you and I love ya!

FYI

In regards to the post below my dad's birthday was really yesterday. I didn't get a chance to post anything yesterday due to the fact I had a really sick baby with a 102 fever. We had a really fun party last night in honor of him. It was really nice. Even though my dad was dreading it, I think it turned out great! There were alot of people there from his first 50 years of life to show their love and respect to him. Kylie my sister put a great video together with pictures of his life so far, along with interviews with his parents, 10 siblings, his beautiful bride, 4 daughters, son, and two grandsons saying their greatest memories of the guy and paying tribute to him. It was a great night, nothing but what is expected at a party with my dad; laughter, loudness, tears, good food and fun. Those that didn't or couldn't come really missed out!!!

Happy 50th Daddio

Happy Birthday to one of the greatest guys I know

A great husband

A great friend


A great grandpa


And a great father

To the man that taught me follow through is everything, to the man that loves deeper, to the man that is full of laughs and fun, to the man that is a great example, to the man that is full of integrity, to the man that shows affection and emotion, to the man that is always there, to the man that is respectful, to the man that is loud, to the man with the most stories, to the man you always want to be around, to the man that is the best girl dad in the world, to the man that shares a birthday with an angel, to the man that has such a great testimony and love for his Heavenly Father, to the man that always believed in me and to the man that shows that through trials, love, forgiveness, and experience 50 years doesn't really seem so bad! To the man that loved me first, I love you! Happy Birthday dad, here is to many many more!

Happy Birthday to our little Angel in Heaven!

Happy Birthday sweet Carson. Know that you are missed and we love you so very much. Your mom and I talk about you often and I think about you often, so I can only imagine how much she thinks about you. I can't believe that you would be two years old! Wonder what you would be doing now if you were here? I don't think about that is much as what you are doing up there? I know it must be something really special because Heavenly Father needed you so quick. I am glad though that we got at least two days with you, I know your mother and father probably wished for more but then again it would have been that much harder to say goodbye. The two days I was with you I just wanted to be around you every second, the spirit that you had was so much more mature then your little body. I could tell and you could just feel it, everyone could! You were by far the closest thing to heaven I have ever felt. Anyone you ever came in contact with, you have touched their lives forever. For that I am eternally greatful.
I am so glad that I got to know you even if it was just for a short time and feel so blessed that I got to be your aunt. Your mom is one of the most neatest and greatest people I have ever known it's no wonder you picked her to be your mom and that Heavenly Father picked such a special spirit like your self to come to your mom and dad. They are so lucky and I think they both understand and know why now. I am also thankful that I was able to hold you for a minute and say goodbye to you during your last precious minutes here on this earth. That is something I will forever hold dear and sacred to my heart! I don't think your mom understands how much it meant to me to be there and how it has changed my life forever, it was the most spiritual experience I have ever had and also the saddest. You have given me a better understanding of God's plan for us all and a greater testimony of eternal families. Happy birthday sweet Carson, you were the closest I ever came to being with an angel, love your aunt Amy.

WhAt ThE bAcHeLoR!!!!

Stupid Stupid Stupid! I don't know why I care so much or why I even watch this stupid show but I have watched it since it aired for the first time back in 2002. I think Jason is a jerk, a big jerk! I know I am a little partial because I did want Jason to choose Melissa but I feel so bad for her and the way this had to happen. She did bring up some good points to him though. (if you watched you know what I am talking about) I understand he says he has to follow his heart because he loves Molly but then if he felt that way why did he propose to Melissa? Couldn't he just have chose her and given her a rose and said let's see where this goes before he asked her to marry him and get engaged! Then second it's fine if Molly said she wants to give him another shot and her feelings never changed for Jason and that she is still in love with him but did she have to totally kiss him and be all over him right after he just broke off his engagement with Melissa (the girl he chose OVER Molly in the first place) and totally broke her heart on live television. Come on people have a little bit of descentcy and class. Although I guess it is better for everybody in the long run my heart still breaks for Melissa, oh well she was to cute for him anyway. Last but not least I will be very excited to watch the premiere of the Bachelorette May 18th with Jillian as the new one. I loved her and she will be great.